An Open Letter to Someone, I will Love more than myself
Dear Future Love/ Someone present around, I am yet to Discover,
Firstly thank you !!! I know you would tell me that in friendship and love, there should be no Thanks and Sorry; yet I want to express gratitude from the bottom of my heart to you and the Almighty for sending you in my life. I can never thank you enough for the way you saw me, like no one else ever did. The way you looked beneath the worldly shackles of external beauty and choose to see my inner self.
There are so many things I want to tell you, so many things you are yet to know about me, my fears, my tears, my anger, my love, my projected smile, my real smile, about my family, about my hobbies, about the things I love, about my dreams and wishes, the things I value and the things I so badly want.
But first of all, let me tell you; I am scared. I am scared that you would not understand me. Scared that you would choose to leave me when you find someone better. Scared that you might not be able to live with my tantrums and anger. Scared that you will judge me. I yearn to be understood. I crave for your love. I might be mad at you and walk away, I want you to hold my hand and stop me with all your love. I want you to NEVER EVER give up on ME, on US. I want a bond of trust so strong among us, not even an atom bomb can harm any single bit of it. Above all, I want you to understand and love me, unconditionally, always.
In return I have so so so so many promises to make to you. I have so many dreams to see with you under the sky. I have so many places to set my feet on and lay my eyes upon with you. There is so much to do, so much to talk, so much to experience, WITH YOU. The list is just countless. At present my bucket list on Pinterest has over 1500 pins. I want to tick off every single one. With you. I have a Love Bucket List too, which I have made for us, and I’d be so happy to add things from you in it too.
I am difficult to understand at times. I agree. When to the world I smile, I might be deeply broken inside. Behind every because, there is a story which made me think that way. There is an experience – bitter or sweet which made me change. I want to tell them all to you. I want you to be my refuge, my shelter and safe haven. I want to confide in you my deepest fears and secrets I only share with my girlfriends. I want to talk to you when you go drunk. I want to caress your hair when you are asleep. I want to be treated with breakfast in mornings and wash dishes with you at night. I want to fight with you for the popcorn and remote. I want to blow off your money for shopping sprees. I want to give big surprises to you on your birthday. I want to surprise you with roses some afternoons. Holding your hand I want to walk bare feet on the beaches. I want to race with you on a cycle. I want you to lose bets I just declare. I want to dance in the rains and float boats with you in puddles. When we fight uncontrollably, I want you to hug me and let me go only when our anger subsides.
For all this to happen, I want you to “need” me. Never to judge me. Value my family, my opinion, my wishes and dreams, my career. I might get angry and be bitter. It would break my heart if you say mean things to me. I want you to see the love behind my anger. I want you to feel the way I feel for you.
Above all, I “need” you to love me, Always.