107 thoughts on “Virtues & Vices !

  1. A very sound perspective Himali. Just a small point of English though … one paints (e.g.) ON something, but talks TO it.

    s.b. Prefer telling you your vice to your face.

    Great message regardless. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Virtues behind my back…why? If we don’t tell people how good they are and how much they mean to us to their faces, we might as well not say it at all. What’s said behind our backs is lost to us. If I can be honest enough to tell someone’s vices to his/her face, I’ll tell their virtues too. They’ve earned both.

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s a fair point HB, but what I meant to convey is a personal experience where someone really close to me spoke with high regards to me and then while I’m unaware, I am being criticized. Better to be upfront with that, isn’t it ? And well, ofcourse we should be vocal about the virtues too. But sometimes, a silent gesture of appreciation speaks volumes.
      Fair enough ?


    • And this quote is meant for close relations. We can’t just be criticising anyone upfront unless they are really close, that’s my personal philosophy. So if I criticise someone, it means I have their best interests in my heart and how much they mean to me to be vocal about that, else who would care ?


      • Hi Himali – I must challenge your first sentence (quote meant for close relations). I believe that the message applies to everybody i.e. gossip in any form is undesirable. Talking behind anybody’s back about them is undesirable and serves no constructive purpose. Confronting anybody with their “vices” is always desirable …….. but of course considerable tact may be necessary depending on who they are! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

        • Very true. Indeed, I absolutely agree upon the fact that gossiping of any forms is unhealthy and creates much hostility. However, not everyone can be confronted considering constraints on a lot of factors. So the least we can do is that be true and honest with all our near and dear ones. That is a small step each of us can take πŸ™‚
          As it is said, Charity begins at home !


            • Love and peace to you too πŸ™‚
              And yes, just reminds me of a poem :

              People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

              If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

              If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

              If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

              What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

              If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

              The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

              Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

              In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

              -this version is credited to Mother Teresa

              Liked by 2 people

    • What I understood from this is NOT that complimenting behind a persons back is good but rather, is preferred given the comparison. (note the “rather than the opposite” last line). I have no doubt that you, Himali and I are all in agreement with this message. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the perspective on virtues and vices. Besides, having someone else tell me the wonderful things that were said about me would make me feel awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. There have been some really interesting dialogues on this topic, and I would like to add some thoughts for anybody who is dwelling on this:

    Freedom of speech is of course better than censorship, but it can get complicated. However, If I am not honest and up front with you, then you cannot possibly know the real me. You only know the “me” that I present. That may make for a stress free relationship, but it is also a deceitful one.

    Being open is always the best route to follow but tact and diplomacy are necessary. If you know somebody who is about to make a bad decision, then telling them that they must be stupid is totally non-productive. Suggesting that they consider alternatives (you would presumably have ideas) is far more congenial. Criticizing serves little purpose unless you have alternatives for consideration. In my business life, I did not want to hear about problems unless the individual had also thought about solutions. It is simply too easy to complain and then do nothing. This can also apply to relationships (label – interpersonal skills).

    Deciding to do nothing based on past experience can be quite understandable but is totally illogical and handicaps personal growth. Because some members of a police force are dishonest, does not indicate that they are all dishonest. Some of my worst business interactions were with Englishmen, but I cannot condemn them all as a result. Being let down, cheated on, insulted, emotionally hurt by all your “loves” in the past 12 months does not indicate that you cannot find happiness in the next one.

    In summary, by not being receptive to logical possibilities, only increases your chances of missing out on wonderful opportunities. Yes of course you may get hurt again …….. but you may not!

    It is all about PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) and if you want to talk to an expert on PMA, find an individual that is successful in Sales and doing “cold calls” (i.e. uninvited calls). Their philosophy is very simple – If I can’t sell to you, then perhaps I can to the next person!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Colin & Ray,
      I really like your thoughts, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. I could recall this wonderful thought :

      β€œThere is freedom waiting for you,
      On the breezes of the sky,
      And you ask “What if I fall?”
      Oh but my darling,
      What if you fly?”
      ― Erin Hanson

      Truly agree with the fact that by not being receptive to possibilities, only increases your chances of missing out on wonderful opportunities.

      Also your perspective on providing alternate solutions rather than problems is a wonderful approach ! Criticisms are seldom useful unless one knows how to work around and improve them. Life should be lived with utmost positivity and you become a magnet to good things ! The law of Attraction πŸ™‚

      Thanks again for your wisdom Colin, I am much grateful to learn about PMA. Infact, I was quite upset over somthing over the weekend, but now I get that there’s no reason to be negative. Good things come along when we are positive πŸ™‚


  5. This is the most primal essence of living a life. I completely understand and agree what you mean over here,though there’s quite some confusion going on πŸ˜πŸ˜‚
    A compliment paid behind a person is worth much more than on his face. A compliment to the face could always have the taint of being not genuine,but a one behind is 100% a genuine one. There are no compulsions,Ergo.. The truth.
    Loved it,something I believe on❀️❀️

    Liked by 3 people

  6. How we say something matter is as important as what we say. Words may be all correct either for a praise or for a criticism, but unless the stress on words, modulation of voice, facial expression and body language all fall appropriately in place, I foresee a bedlam in relationships.

    And maturity of the receiving party is another dimension altogether.

    Also, I have come across individuals (family) who are usually so sarcastic, that once or twice when they genuinely praise something or somebody, I become wary. I become super analytical when they say something πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • I so agree that it is often how we say that matters rather that what we say. That is an art to learn and cultivate. Sometimes when criticism when aptly explained become a source of inspiration to improve and appreciation if given with sarcasm, looses it’s essence. Thanks for this beautiful thought. I will try to learn that in my daily life πŸ™‚

      Welcome to DecodingHappiness πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Virtues and vice so much part of our life but these needs to be kept apart. Such a wonderful quote of stating the vices in front and virtues in the back. Yes, indeed we need to know the reality of facing the vices and have the humility of accepting the virtues.
    Hope Himali you are having a lovely weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hello Himali! I love your blog, which is exactly the reason that I’m nominating you for a blog award of my creation. The blog award is called the average ordinary bloggers award ~ordinary blogs with above average blogs~. Side note, you could call the award AOBA for short. Anyway, the details are here:

    have fun with this! I am so excited to hear your answers.

    Liked by 1 person

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