What it means to be a friend . . .

Have you ever had a friend you always admired ? I have had the privilege of knowing some such wonderful people who amaze me with their love and kindness.
Often, we put ourselves on the line for our best friends.
 
How rare it is to find someone who is just a ‘friend’; not they or you being their ‘best friend’ but they do something for you so special that it finds a forever unforgettable place in your heart. 

I studied in an all girls convent high school since my kindergarten right up to grade 12. So, technically I know Kay for over 20 years ! We became friends in grade 8. She was one of the sweetest, coolest and kindest person I knew. Someone I aspired to be like. Super creative, talented and so expressive. Till grade 10, our roll numbers in class were consecutive as we shared the same surname. She and I were partners in crime and I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I said that we troubled all our high school teachers beyond possible limits. Post grade 10, she moved to science stream and changed schools. We kept in touch nonetheless.

In grade 12, I had my first real crush on one of my seniors. There were butterflies in my tummy every time I thought of him. One day I happened to discuss this with Kay over the phone. And she told me to find out what he thought of me or whether or not he already had a girlfriend. Back then, I used to be this shy girl and far far away from becoming a courageous and expressive person I am today. I just couldn’t muster up the courage to do so.

This is when my gladiator in shining armor – Kay declares she’s going to take the matter in her hands and find out. And we make a plan. I didn’t have a Facebook account at that time. So there was no way for me to talk to him apart from text SMSs. Kay said she will find him on Facebook and speak to him discreetly to find out what was in his heart. And she did it ! Can you believe it !

Now here comes the twist. This guy I had a crush on was so stubborn and difficult to crack; that no matter how hard Kay tried, he didn’t give her any information. Kay went to the extent of creating a fake love story of herself and her fictional crush and telling him about it with the hopes that he too would in turn soften and open up to her. And viola ! It worked. But it was still quite hazy and we couldn’t connect the dots with the information he’d provided :p

Not to let suspicions arise, I waited for some weeks and finally mustered up the courage to tell him how I felt about him. As ridiculous it may sound and as dumb as it might seem, it actually felt great to express. Now don’t ask me what happened between us – okay ! It didn’t click, as he didn’t feel for me the way I did. And it’s okayyy 🙂 At least the anxiety and suspense had come to an end ! I felt light and relieved and calm.

In our very limited friendship, Kay did influence me so much that words might betray me to express the same. I became so much more confident of my own self, courageous, expressive and learnt to be kind for no reason. Every time I think of Kay, I smile. Yesterday was her birthday and I spoke to her after close to 5 to 7 years at least, to wish her a happy birthday. This is a birthday present for you Kani 😀

Thank you for putting yourself on the line for me. You have a special place in my heart today and always. You’ve shown me what it means to be a friend. ❤
what it means to be a friend decoding happyness.png
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40 thoughts on “What it means to be a friend . . .

  1. Well.. somehow i missed the
    notification on your post
    here about words for
    friends.. Himali..
    and for me
    at least
    my
    Mother showed
    me that Love was
    all about Giving no matter
    what comes next as Dark
    or Light from me in deed too
    as receiving.. as true i was
    a child who lacked attention
    to the every day things of life
    to please those.. namely
    my Mother who
    sought
    order
    in the home..
    hehe.. out of the
    chaos of what i brought
    in a mind and body that
    never rested and rarely slept..
    anyway.. as i grow older that message
    of give without restraint.. now never worrying
    what will be provided back in terms of receive
    whether
    dARk
    or LiGht
    BRinGS that
    LiGHT that even
    Means my Mother’s
    Name Helen in original
    Greek Goddess way means
    not only LiGHT but Torch for LiFE..
    For a Human Love is LiFE.. anything
    less
    than
    friEnd
    is antithetical
    to what our DNA
    is at naked core of “Bonobo” touch..
    thaT iS thE Hope of ‘St. Elmo’s Fire’
    for those who travel lone as Ship SeeKinG
    LovE LIGht as Torch and finding it on distant shores allone..:)

    Liked by 1 person

      • SMiLes.. mY FriEnd Himali
        And Hello.. i’LL stART off with
        A Sad story to my FriEnd and
        continue on from there..
        in regard to your remark
        that my Mother is now an
        Angel with Hugs and Love..,
        On Valentine’s Day
        this Year
        my Mother
        Went to the
        Hospital
        and to
        make
        an 8 day
        story shorter
        she didn’t come
        back.. she went undiagnosed
        with Breast Cancer for probably
        Half a Decade and it spread to
        her Bones and Brain and A
        Ruptured Cancerous
        Tumor in Her
        Brain is
        when
        she finally
        agreed to go to
        the Hospital as she
        refused to see any Doctor
        since she had a Gall Bladder
        Operation over a Decade ago..
        she steadily had been losing weight
        since the Summer of 2014.. and lost
        80 Lbs in about a year but managed
        to stay smiling and only taking a Bayer
        Aspirin for any and all of her pain
        occasionally until the end as
        she did it her way..
        the hard
        way but
        never the
        less her way
        that made her happiest
        until the end.. she wanted
        to die at home.. but Hospice
        gave her the Merciful Care
        at the Hospital she needed
        as she did not want to
        be hooked up
        to any
        machines
        and she survived
        8 days with no food
        or drink at all.. they didn’t
        expect her to last more than a couple
        of days.. the Doctor said it was her strong
        Heart that carried her through the eight days as
        we sat by her bed and saying good bye all of those
        eight days with Love.. if it wasn’t for all the pain i had already
        experienced in life and numb and all the Love she gave me through all
        that i am not sure how i could have handled it but i did handle it
        and this with the Power of Love..
        end of sad
        story to
        Friend
        Himali
        Now and
        usual positive
        Fred stories coming next..
        My Mother made it until 82
        years old.. i kinda wanted to
        extend my Poem out to 1.82M
        words instead of 1.81 Million
        Words in Honor of her.. took
        an extra day or so but always
        worth it in the means.. And sure..
        the Story today in America about
        Senator John McCain’s Cancerous Brain
        Tumor Bleeding.. brought those memories
        back.. Oh yeaH.. And an interesting side note..
        for years before any of our family
        members would pass away
        My Sister would
        see their
        Faces in
        the Clouds
        the Days before..
        And now this time
        while my Mother
        was in the Hospital
        i not only saw her face
        in the clouds when she was
        younger as those photos showed
        her face.. i also took a photo and my sister
        saw the same thing as her youthful face in earlier ages..
        a measure of comfort instead of an omen of death.. and
        since then.. we’ve seen an Angel in the Clouds at
        least twice.. last one very sublime in some of the
        most unusual clouds i’ve witnessed in my entire
        life after i came out of the “Planet of the
        Apes Movie”.. captured in all that
        Sublime Angelic Beauty at
        the milestone
        of that
        1.82
        Million Word Poem..
        as just another story
        And a true one too..
        Life exceeds any Fiction i for one
        have ever seen on A Big Theater Screen..
        iN BotH
        dARK
        and LiGHt
        And Sure..
        BeYoNd Rainbow
        Colors too.. mY FriEnD..:)

        Like

  2. haha… it reminded me of my best friend who did something similar for me when I had my first crush. I wasn’t shy but used to hesitate to approach girls. But, what he had done for me was very precious and I could not thank him much for what he did. I still remember the incidence and the girl became one of my best friends later. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha ha ha ha 😀 I think almost every one of us did that for our friend – there was always a guy there, wasn’t it? I miss her! She is in the US now… Barely meet once in two years 😦

    Liked by 1 person

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