S I L E N C E

Silence is golden – they say. I would like to disagree.

Opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. Silence is indifference.

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Silence creates a void. Silence hurts. Silence creates a distance no bridges can cover. Silence can break hearts beyond repair. Silence from our loved ones can wage cold wars which can be so difficult to reconcile. I feel it is always better to communicate rather than being silent about how we feel.

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I do understand the other perspective of silence. When without saying you can say it all. And at times words are not needed at all when love and connection is so deep.

What do you say ? How to deal with people who hurt you with their silence & ignorance ? Should you confront them or leave them to enjoy their golden silence ? What if their underlying cause of silence is deep rooted and you understand that they aren’t expressive and you forgive them for that; but still their silence stings ? Do you forgive & forget or do you cut off with them ?

Do you give them a taste of their own medicine or continue with your kindness and understanding ? Can patience & kindness have it’s limits ? Let me know what you think in the comments below 🙂 #contemplatinglife


Edit 1:

Thank you to my blogging friends Colin and Ray for the amazing words of wisdom. I have decided to stretch my limits of patience, love and kindness. After all, we ought to treat everyone the way we wish to be treated 🙂

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52 thoughts on “S I L E N C E

  1. First of all.. Helloooo Himali..
    Second of all.. “Silence is Golden”..
    Third of all.. more than likely that phrase
    of Wisdom was/is written by an Introvert as
    in General Writers are much more
    Introverted than
    So Called Talkers..
    (Wisdom is Biased)
    Dancers and Singers..
    as the Movie.. Guardians
    of the Galaxy pART two clearly
    relates too.. there are two General
    Categories of Folks.. those
    who Dance and those
    who do not.. and as
    far as those general
    Personality Traits
    go in terms of
    “Dr. Jekyll and
    the Good Cop Mr. Hyde..
    as the before of me as INTJ
    and the After me at age 53 as
    ENFP.. i’ve seen both sides and
    i continue to visit both sides but
    when i’m out and about around people
    i’m Loud.. not just a little Loud but really
    Loud in terms of 7700 Miles of Public
    Dance in this 47th month of doing that..
    1.8 Million Words oNline in 13.6 Months
    Free Verse Poetry as ENFP..
    too.. and then there is
    Stress and Information
    Overload with
    Modern Technology
    as Science Shows there
    are two types of cognition.. the
    reason/worry mind of before and
    after now solving problems of Mechanical
    Cognition and the Social Empathic Cognition
    of let’s get together and party on now for fun
    and make some noise and yes.. Dance and
    Sing Life NoW in the Present of the Moment
    as a Dreamtime Way oF Lucid Guiding GifT
    DreAMs NoW oF INTuiTiVE ART instead of
    Systemizing Science worrying over the future
    and past of solving
    problems.. and yes in
    Epigenetic and Neuroplastic
    affect and effect as in all stuff
    existence.. use or lose it applies.. And
    that my friend is why i am no longer just
    an INTJ.. i came out of a Cocoon finAlly
    And my Butterfly eYe of the Tiger WinGS in
    Fearless ways stay in Fire of PaSSioN..
    Sure.. unless i move on
    to the other way
    of BeinG.. NoW.. Human
    Potential says we can do more
    and Science says we do less and it’s
    true tHeRe are Limits as Humans are evolved
    to live together Happy where everyone knows
    one’s name in a Norm of about 150 to 200 sets
    of friendly eyes and Hips NoW in DancE and SonG..
    but still as far as really close friends.. only now about
    5 at most we as humans can deal with.. with yes.. all the
    other stuff of hunting and gathering our subsistence now..
    Overload it as i am.. hehe.. doing to you at this very moment
    and we get stressed and shut down.. for i am Peter Pan.. i have
    no responsibilities really of worry or stress.. i fly wherever i land NoW
    in Beyond Rainbow Colors of Troll Land NoW and OMG it’s so fun
    to live over on the other side oF HeAveN NoW.. trUe.. Loud can be
    kinda lonely too at times.. unless one has Big enough Elephant
    Ears to keep uP wiTh a Speed oF LoVe oN FiRE aS LiGht..
    anyWay.. ‘this’ Troll SonG kinda says it all in words of
    Silence and LiT uP LoUd oF LoVe as LiGht..
    See you later FriEnd as Peter Pan WiLL
    LiGht BriGht wHeReVer
    i
    DancE and
    SinG nexT..;)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Why think of silence when you know why it is there between the two. And, if you don’t know then you can always break it to know the reason.” This is my own perception about the silence. Now, talking about what one should do – I guess you must not lose your mind thinking too much and must choose your inner peace which comes when you stop giving importance to things/people/events that hurt you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Very very thought-provoking, Himali. Ignorance accompanied me for decades. First I confronted that person in order to sort this issue out. But when the person doesn’t cooperate the confrontation only brought more pain. So I stopped confronting more and more, detached from the dependency of the person’s attention, and took responsibility for my own life. The ignorant behavior still hurt but at least I had a different way to look at it and deal with it until the moment when I noticed that feelings that were there were gone…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Settia, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I do agree silence can communicate a wide range of emotions. But sometimes it can leave the recipient confused and hurt when they were expecting some sort of communication – by words or actions from your end. Don’t you think so ?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh yes Himali you are right. Silence can most definitely leave the other person confused and hurt. I’ve been that person before. It’s selfish and unfair to respond with silence. It certainly depends on the situation of course. Silence could also communicate humble feelings, proud moments, and joy. It really depends. But yes, I do think silence can leave the recipient confused.

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  4. Hi Himali – Some thoughts for you:

    “What do you say ? How to deal with people who hurt you with their silence & ignorance ? Should you confront them or leave them to enjoy their golden silence?” You should always try and explain your feelings. Those people may have had a major misunderstanding about something.

    “What if their underlying cause of silence is deep rooted and you understand that they aren’t expressive and you forgive them for that; but still their silence stings ? Do you forgive & forget or do you cut off with them?’ You forgive and forget and, if they were considered friends, then “leave the door open” for future dialogues.

    “Do you give them a taste of their own medicine or continue with your kindness and understanding?” Given that you feel that they have mistreated you, to do the same just makes you as thoughtless as them! Lead by example in everything!

    Can patience & kindness have it’s limits? We are human and so yes… there are limits. We should however always be striving to push back those limits to the point where there are no limits to our patience, kindness, compassion etc.

    Have a wonderful day Himali… and keep smiling. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Colin !!!! I consider myself really blessed to have a friend who gives such patient advise. I am so thankful to you for your kind words especially

      ‘Given that you feel that they have mistreated you, to do the same just makes you as thoughtless as them! Lead by example in everything! Can patience & kindness have it’s limits? We are human and so yes… there are limits. We should however always be striving to push back those limits to the point where there are no limits to our patience, kindness, compassion etc.’

      Heartfelt thanks to you for your love, patience and guidance 🙂 Woof woof to Rayyy ! Hope he is enjoying his summer camp.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Krunal, thanks for sharing your experience and your words of advice. I want to share with you below which makes me rethink on the suggestion you have given to me 🙂

      ” Don’t give them a taste of their own medicine. They already know what it tastes like. Give them a taste of your own medicine. If they lied, let your medicine be honesty. If they played with your emotions, let your medicine be maturity. If they broke you, let your medicine heal. If they made you cry, let your medicine make them smile. These remedies of yours may take years to work, but they work. And they last. So be patient. Stay true to yourself. And remember this: it is better for people to value you for who you are, not for who you pretend to be. Who you are lasts a lifetime. Who you pretend to be changes like the change of seasons. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, even if it means removing yourself from lives that you want to be in. You are, no doubt, worthy of being valued for who you are. So be who you are. “

      Liked by 3 people

  5. Interesting perspective Himali. Yes, the silence of void, absence, especially with people or communication can be a hard thing. I’ve also experienced the joy of being in silence with friends when we didn’t need to say anything. Another life paradox. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am so glad Brad that you have friends you enjoy sharing silence with. I read somewhere that :

      ‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other, in order to cover that great distance.

      But what happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but instead talk very softly because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small. And when they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only need to look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’

      Liked by 1 person

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