Some people might call you a mistake, some – a lesson. A few name you as my Karma. I call you my milestone. My major milestone. Someone who divided time in my life as before and after you – just like we have Before Christ (BC) & After Christ (AC); why can’t we have time as Before You & After You ?
Before I met you, I was naive and foolish and stupid and a big believer in fairy tales. Like a powerful being shaking a little tree, you came in my life and shook my little world. You put me on the path to become a mature adult from a young and naive adolescent. You challenged my beliefs and my world with your mature ideas. I still haven’t come to the terms as to decide who was right and who being the wrong one. As to who being the lover and who being the sinner.
You still remain a mystery to me – now may be even bigger and more enticing. You came, challenged and changed my world and you left. How can you, so easily leave ? That is still a puzzle to me beyond my ability to comprehend. How could you be so heartless, or was it just me this coldness was meant for ?
I still remember your fragrance, the way you smiled when I was just being the cheeky me, the way you’d say a “hello” on the phone. The way I would playfully hit you time and again. The way you could read my eyes and mind without any effort and the way you’d say sorry a million times – till I’d soften up. Where did it all vanish, I wonder ? The easy going conversations and the endless talks we always had ?
Some people might tag you selfish or as my mistake while I was blinded in love – yes, I do believe very strongly I was in love. What I wonder is that did it ever touch you ? Or did I fail so miserably ? What about the letters I wrote to you and the secrets I shared – only with you ? What about the endless smiles we shared and the laughter sessions which would leave me complaining that now you need to stop as it hurts my belly and makes my eyes water with tears of joy ! What about the understanding and the bond we shared ? When with just my ‘hi’ over a text message you’d gauge my sulky mood ?
I think I ought to have listened much more closely to you when you claimed that I was merely one amongst many. When you left me with doubts and questions. When every time I took it upon myself to excuse the inexcusable.
Still, I think of you and a smile draws upon my lips. I will always, always remember you. With a strange fondness and a unique nostalgia. I will remember you with a fondness, a child has for his favorite ice cream. A teenager has for his favorite game. Every detail about you, every tiny thing you shared with me, will be forever etched in my my heart in permanent ink. A lot of things fade away with time. Wounds heal and scars disappear. Numbness melts away and spring finds its way. What will never fade is the memories of us – I have to cherish. The lessons of love and life you taught me. It does make me sad that I had to pass by you – leaving you long behind in a journey I am to take; but there is a unique happiness to know that you were at some point, a part of my journey.
I am content with having you just as a milestone – a major milestone in my life; well honestly – may be I am not. But who cares, right ? I only wish you’d care a bit about how I felt. Lastly, I just have one last thing to ask you – how could you make me different and just leave ? You knew I wished you in my life forever as a friend, guide and as my reflection. Then WHY did you JUST LEAVE ?
– Yours Forever,