You give, what you’ve got !

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Ever since I joined Toastmasters in 2015, one of my most favorite part of each session is the President’s address (weird, right ? Second is the Table topics session). In the introductory part, the Club President shares a small story or an analogy and sets the tone for the meeting. I wanted to share with you all, one story I heard in our recent meeting :

After World War II, Germany was divided into East and West. “Berlin Wall” divided East and West.

In an act of antagonism, East Berliners filled a garbage truck and drove it into West Berlin late one night. They dumped the trash all over the streets and then retreated back to East Berlin on foot.

A few days later, the truck returned under cover of darkness. But instead of the filthy garbage that the East Berliners expected to see in it, it was full of canned goods and non-perishable food items coming from the West Berliners.

On the food was a sign that read “Each gives what he has to give.”

Isn’t this such a beautiful story ? I was contemplating about a question since sometime and was just growing restless wondering and pondering over it. That’s when this analogy struck a chord with me.

I was wondering how can some people be OKAY hurting you? With their words or with their actions or even silence? How can some people be OKAY watching you hurt? This question is of paramount importance especially when “those people” are the ones you trust and care about. Then you set to wonder, is it about you or is it about them?

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I have had strangers stopping by to give me a lift and drop me at my destination some 50 kilometers away ! And mere acquaintances who got off the bus in heavy rains, to help me find my lost keys!

A few days back while we were heading for a family lunch, I fell off my bike and bruised my arms and legs. As soon as I reached the venue, noticing my injury, my aunt – who I was meeting after over two decades, rushed to give me first aid. She didn’t have to do that for me. I barely knew her. But yet she did. Why ? 

Is the goodness, love and kindness you get, all attributable to your own self ? I guess not.

What we receive is not just a function of who we are and the kind of rapport we share with the person.

It is so much more about who they are.

We end up giving what we have, similar to the concept of beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

I applied this analogy today morning, to my restless question. What we get – is not merely a reflection of us and our relationship, it is more – a mirror of who they are as individuals. The ones with love and compassion will give you kindness. The ones who lack integrity, will end up raising questions on yours; no matter how close you’ve been. The ones who lack compassion, will be okay seeing you hurt.

We can’t change the world, but we can surely change ourselves. As my friend Erika‘s blog shares this lovely message from M. K. Gandhi “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

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So, next time you feel let down, remember – it is about them; not you. And don’t ever fall down to their level. Give what YOU got – the best within you. Because, in the end you’ll know that it was never between you and them.

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33 thoughts on “You give, what you’ve got !

  1. […] What I want you to learn is to know the difference between the savage and the compassionate. The heartless and the ones who love you for all of yourself. I want you to stop chasing the distant and the ruthless. They aren’t worth your time, energy, focus or attention. Even if you give them everything within you, they still would never care a bit for you. And no, it’s got nothing to do with you. It is who they are. “Each gives what he has to give.” […]

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  2. Loved Toastmasters. Think I joined in 2015 as well but couldn’t go because I was teaching at the same time as the meetings. Which was such a pity really.

    Loved this post. Reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend, who reminded me that people with terminal illnesses sometimes had to lash out at others. And that it was our duty as their friends to see and move past that.

    And your aunt is a sweetheart. Hope you’ve recovered from the fall.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello,

      I’m so glad you could connect with the subject. I so agree that as friends we ought to understand and even forgive at times.

      I’m so much better now , thanks to your good wishes and blessings.

      I do wish you continue your TM journey. I am having an amazing time learning and also enjoy the fun each meeting brings.

      Cheers !

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  3. What a beautiful post, Himali. You’re absolutely right: how people treat us it at least partially influenced by what they have to give. But our actions are also contagious. When someone passes on hate to another, the recipient may then give that hate to someone else. The same is true of kindness.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. SMiLes my friEnd
    for the Sad and also
    Biological Truth of Happy is of
    Course all Humans experience
    the Painting of Life Differently
    As They Brush LiFE with Paint
    that is Colored Differently
    from Birth
    and Environment
    And Sadly when a
    Garden of sprouts
    Born as Love Less
    are not watered
    and fed
    Love
    in touch
    of Hugs the Love
    fails to thrive and often
    withers into silence or even
    aggression of Vengeance
    over what is lost or never
    Grown as Green Life
    that hugs and
    touches
    more..
    it usually boils
    down to one question..
    WHO HURT YOU or neglected
    you or otherwise did you wrong
    and the you that lives in as love has
    the greatest responsibility to Water and Fertilize
    Love
    with
    A Taste of FeeL
    that seeks to be real
    in the you that is not Love Me..:)

    Oh yeah.
    Hellooove HiMaLi..;)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. That was such an inspiring story that you heard at Toastmasters, and I just love that message ‘Each gives what he has to give.’ So much more will be better and more achieved when we are nice and kind to each other. It was very nice of your aunt to help you up, like she never thought twice of it. I’m the kind who likes to see others happy, and so if I can do something to help them and be there for them, I will 🙂

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  6. Himail, this post made my eyes watery. You touched some so important and profound things here. I love how you explained that we do what we do because of who we are at that moment and not because of who the other person is we are doing it for. Even though we might think it is that way but in the end it is how we are tuned that makes us do and obey or don’t do and turn away! So, in who we are we leave something here and therefore we need to be very wise with what we do. That again means, we need to reflect what we want to leave and align that with our inner being.
    Thank you for for the quote of the amazing Wayne Dyer (I was blessed to be in his audience 3 times). It is part of his book: 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace. There he says: You can’t give away what you don’t have. (Which of course says exactly the same. Yes, we need to be what we want to have! Therefore we need to be the change we wish to see in the world… and in our own lives.
    Thank you so much for this very beautiful and meaningful post!
    💖💖💖

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Angel Erika,

      Apologies for missing to reply to your comment. You touch my heart and echo my sentiments. I am so much inspired by your kindness and positivity, that words fail to describe how blessed I feel knowing you.

      I so agree with you. We need to be wise about what we are and what we do. And it is so essential to be a good person from within.

      You’re so fortunate to be in Wayne Dyer’s audience for 3 times ! I can only imagine how amazing it would’ve been.

      Thank you again for your beautiful words, angel 😇

      Like

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