I love the way kohl, intensifies your deep brown eyes; whose looks pierces right through my eyes and searches into the deepest corners of my heart. They long. Long for answers, for a quest, for the love I’ve kept caged so far. Those silent eyes speak so much to me. They tell me how your heart skips a beat when our eyes meet. They tell me how you steal glances staring at me when you think I’m not watching, sometimes I just pretend. The way you look at me when I’m lost in my train of thoughts tells me how you wish to hold my cold and numb hand into your soft and warm hands and join me in my quest as my companion.
I wish I could allow you to step into my arena. Sometimes I wish to tell you my deepest scars and longings. My failures and vulnerabilities. About the thoughts I’ve kept confined to the dustiest corners of my heart. There is so much I wish I could tell you.
Somehow, words betray me. When you come near me, I stand at a distance. I see that distance as a symbolic boundary I’ve kept for everyone, from entering into my life. I tuck away my hands in my pockets when you walk besides me, because I know you want to hold them.
I don’t want to spend my evening by the seaside listening to crashing waves besides you, because you’d be so close to me that I’ll be able to listen to your heartbeats which scream of your love for me.
But, do you know something ? I’m afraid of all these. But what I am most afraid is that if you come close to me, you’ll be able to hear the soft whisper from my racing pulses which wants to murmur softly in your ears “I love you, too”.