Lost & Found

Lostand found

Often we find ourselves so busy chasing our goals, juggling the multiple roles we play in life, trying to keep up with the ever-increasing pace of life and meeting expectations of people around us in an attempt to keep our near and dear ones happy with us; that we feel lost. The hustle and bustle of the daily life takes a toll on us until we no longer have time in our life – for our own self. An irony, isn’t it?

I have found myself in a similar situation, so neck deep engrossed – just living life and passing by days, that leave the part of acknowledging being lost in a maze; I couldn’t really accept it, even when a very close friend of mine pointed this out to me.  My friend’s questions were a sort of wake up call to me when I started pondering over them with a calm mind at bedtime.

“Where is the Himali – I knew – LOST? The blogger, the poet, the artist and the DIY fanatic? Where is the girl lost who loved to paint and who would blog till 3 AM on a weekday? Where is the girl hiding, who could read till 2 AM and the girl who would discuss with me the story of her debut novel?”

I did defend myself for reasons such as my hour-long commute back and forth, my study schedules, chores and errands I had to run, grocery shopping, laundry, etcetera. I was justified,  wasn’t I? Of course, I was swamped, overloaded and eternally abundantly occupied. These justifications were true but somehow, that little voice in my heart did not resonate with them.

Flowers.jpg

I thought long about how life was when I was so deeply connected to all I was intensely passionate about and how life felt living a monotonously dull life. I could see the stark difference. I felt lost and a deep sense of void. I felt like the above picture of a dying flower. My soul was withering away with the bitter winter of ‘life’. 

This wasn’t how I had planned life to be. I wanted to flourish and blossom, again. I wanted the spring back in my life. I just did not know – HOW? How to find the time or how to strike the right balance and how to feel alive with that zest for life again?

A friend at work has a little money plant in her cubicle which has grown its veils over her walls and added much serenity to her workspace. I got talking to her and was asking how she manages to keep the plant so healthy and here is what she told me – I change its water twice a week and talk to my plant every other day even if it for a few minutes.

I took her magic gardening technique and decided to take up a moonlighting stint. I decided to become a gardener. I starting out with regularly watering my soul with my passion and weeded off the pests of distraction and laziness from my farm. I then went on to manure my barren land with fertilizers of gratitude and love. I sprayed off pesticide of forgiveness to keep remorse and malice at a bay. The toil was hard – I had to work on my farm every single day – 24 by 7, without a break or rest – on rainy days and snowy days, alike. I practiced plowing my field with consistency – I started writing more often, yoga, evening walks, and art has found a way back in my life. I keep my garden protected from strays like negativity, resentment, and self-doubt that threaten to hamper my garden. 

My garden has started to bloom again. I see a little bud in my rose plant. I am eagerly waiting for it to blossom into a full bloomed rose.

RoseBudInMySoulsGarden.jpg

 

 

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16 thoughts on “Lost & Found

  1. Welcome back to WP, and more importantly to your soul. I love your gardening analogy and am delighted that you’ve begun to blossom and flourish! Yay Himali! May you thrive and spread much love and joy…

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  2. So glad to find you here again! 😀

    It’s kinda same story at my end too as I am not into writing since months. Guess what, I don’t even have any reasons to justify why it is so. Hope I get some inspiration with your arrival and resume blogging. Keep an eye on the other direction. 😉

    Keep blogging! Cheers! 🙂

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  3. Himali, it’s so good to hear from you! You’re one of my most favoritest people to talk to on here.

    It can be really hard to make time for ourselves when life gets busy. It’s scary to do, but sometimes we have to tell people “no” and set firm boundaries for our own wellbeing. I’m happy to hear that you’ve started to do the things you enjoy again 🙂

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  4. In a World Directed by the Tools of Abstract
    Constructs we create as Tools to help us
    in the Creature Comforts of LiFE Sadly
    The Tools are Winning the Race
    of LiFE of the Art in heART
    that is about 60 Percent
    Over the ReaSon
    That we use
    to Build
    the Tools for Greater
    Creature Comforts and yes
    Science is now showing a Biological
    Basis for this too as the Social Empathic
    Art Mind that is in Connection with Nature
    As God too is More the Metaphor of the Right
    Brain and our Subconscious Minds in all the Colors
    of Emotions and Senses that come out to Play as
    We Move.. Connect and Co-Create not only Tools
    to Get Jobs Done But Art that Moves our heART
    That in Turn Makes a Dance and Song of Life
    That Feels and Senses Deep WiTHiN
    so far from all the Clothes of
    Culture that come to
    be the Tools that
    Separate us
    From ART
    oF heART And as Science
    SHows when we use our Mechanical
    Cognition Mind that is More a Way in
    Metaphor of Left Brain Detail thinking of
    Life as we lose the Bigger View of When ART
    Plays the Biggest pART oF LiFE ToGeTHeR NoW
    HoLDiNG Hands As BeinG HuMaN PaRT oF NaTuRE
    GoD WHoLE and no longer separated as all the Clothes
    of Culture we Make as Tools.. i really wish i knew this when
    i went to School.. i really wish i knew this when i went to Work
    And i Really Wish i FelT and SenSeD this when i Lost the Spirit
    of My HeART oF EmoTioNS That Make a Mind and Body BaLanCinG
    ForcE of LoVE HoLDinG Hands ToGeTHeR WiTHiN as to Give and Share SoUL
    With the Rest of Existence as Love over the Tools of Life now as Creature Comfort
    Becomes
    A Work
    Of Art
    THaT iS LoVE
    Reaching out as
    Rays of Sunshine
    WiTHIN aCRoSS
    BLiNKS oF LiFENoW..:)

    Liked by 1 person

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