Boundaries and Self Love

For a very long time, I was stuck with a friendship where I was not just taken for granted but was expected to walk as per their convenience. It was always about ‘them’, their schedules, their convenience, their needs. I always let go of this behavior as I dearly treasured the friendship. A few months down the line, it became a nightmare.

Image result for when you accept you teach them how to treat you

I was livid that I could never find my voice or stand up for myself. I blamed them internally for treating me that way. When I reflected deeper, I realised that all along it was MY fault. I had NOT set boundries and standards, let alone reinforcing them.Β This put them behind the steering wheel of our friendship solely without me even being considered as a co-passanger.

A year down the line, I felt stronger and wiser. I knew with absolute clarity what values I stand for and how I ought to be treated. I began establishing my standards and my friend, did not like them. “You have changed so much, you no longer talk to me like before.” I so wanted to tell them the below, but my values asked me to swallow my pride and be nice and kind. Instead of treating them as my #1 priority while I was always their #106754 priority as they were “TOO BUSY”, I had engrossed myself so much into my amazing life, that I would no longer entertain their non sense πŸ˜›

Image result for don't get upset when i pull a you on you

I feel happy to have finally have found my self after months of soul searching. I am thankful to the Universe for helping me stand tall, be gentle yet firm for my values and my standards.

And just to clarify, I DO NOT give the message to cut off friendships and people from your life. I just want YOU to stand up for yourself and what you feel is right. TELL people if some behavior from their side upsets you. COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY. If you are silently taking the brunt, your side of the story will never be known. TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL AND WHY THEY SHOULD OR SHOULDN’T DO SOMETHING.

Feel empowered to speak your heart and be your authentic self.

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Once you communicate your side, the ball is in their court now. See how they react to it. Do they apologise? Do they even consider the behavior wrong on their part? Are they sincere and genuine? Listen to their side of the story also. Be open hearted and have an honest discussion. Are they willing to make an effort to change and make it right? Are they now considerate of your feelings?

You will get your answers by how they behave once you confront them. Be willing to give chances for them to change. But if repeatedly they disrespect you, be willing to let them go. You deserve people who uplift you, not people who weight you down!

“You are worth so much more than you realize.

Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want you in their life, will RISE UP TO MEET THEM.

If you don’t know who you are, what you stand for, what your core values are, chances are that someone else is going to decide them for you. And when someone else decides them for you, they are not going to look good.

Have deal breakers – hard limits in relationships and behavior you are willing to accept. If someone breaches them, be prepared to walk away.

If we lack sufficient self-love and need external validation and another person to make us feel whole and complete, we might not be able to follow through on our standards. Boundaries are about self-love – what you are willing to accept, how you allow people to treat you.

Setting boundaries help to bring in people in your life who uplift you and enrich the beautiful garden of your life. Be courageous to let go of people who fail to meet your standards.”

Thank you, Kailyn for your inspiration ❀ You’re my favorite.

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A page from my journal πŸ™‚

Hi-Five for reading along! Drop me a line about your experiences/ inputs πŸ™‚ I’d love to hear from you.Β 



37 thoughts on “Boundaries and Self Love

  1. Well written Himali. Our fears will always keep us behind those boundaries. It is when we finally have the courage to face those fears and understand them that we dis-empower their hold over us, begin to stand in our truth and be set free ❀
    Welcome to the free world my friend, the actual act of saying your truth with integrity is in fact being loving to yourself, the one thing our fears block ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There are so many ways to look at this, and they all covered by people wiser than us.
    – People only have the power over us that we give them.
    – We must stand up for who we are as individuals, or else nobody will ever know who we truly are!
    – There are always at least two perspectives … ours should drive us, but we should at least be aware of other perspectives.
    Finally … my favorite quote ” Be open and honest about yourself … those who matter won’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Helloove Himali.. And With
    Great Respect i Bow to the
    God Within you but it’s True
    as this Namaste Salutation
    And See Ya Later Indian Saying goes this
    is what i Aim to Feel and Sense About ALL of
    Humanity and the Rest of Existence too..
    sure including metoo..
    (True You
    are still
    A Unique
    to me)
    And yes
    still too the Poorest
    ‘ Trump Psychopaths’
    now who were abused
    and Neglected as a Children
    and or so sadly born without
    the Capacity to Love early for
    an anomaly in Human Wiring
    and Neurohormones that but
    by the Gift of all that Life is
    i too could have been
    born the same
    way so sad
    a Whole
    Soul or as Socio-path
    as Neglected and Abused
    this way by Drug Addict Parents
    or those Parents Just too busy with
    Work and Electronic Devices to give their
    Children Hugs other than Tablet Devices with
    Games to Pass Life by without Flesh and Blood Connections..
    It’s True my FriEnd
    for i am the most
    Fortunate as those
    Are Born and Gardened
    as Love by Loving Mothers
    with no restraints to Hug
    And Create a Flower
    of Love.. Smiles
    my FriEnd
    As Humans
    Are Greatest
    And Create the Most
    including Children when
    they are Loving Hugging Beings..
    But True Humans with all this Success
    Have Raped and Pillaged the Rest of the
    Earth and with all our History of Hugs working
    together to bring all these luxuries and comforts
    iN Dopamine Producing Devices even in the ways
    of incessantly trading back and forth ‘Likes’ without much deeper
    Substance of Soul Nature as Smiles for now we are not reproducing
    as much flesh and blood this way to take more than what we give from:
    to: the rest of Namaste as Nature out of balance in raping and pillaging
    ways too of those removed from our Species in all Forms of Life and Environment
    Moving with Electrons Around Nucleuses as pArt of God Nature sAMe as all Stuff
    made from Gaseous Star Dust as we are too.. so.. my FriENd.. When People Ignore
    me or look at me disgusted when i Dance in ‘Foot Loose’ Town the place where folks
    used to Burn Rock and Roll Records.. i See the Rest of Namaste in God Nature Smiling
    for we Humans
    are getting way
    too pre-occupied
    in the longest run
    of making more of us
    to Rape and Pillage the Earth
    (most folks now are too busy to even see me)
    while it’s also True thankfully that God all within
    Us NoW is Able to Pursue More of God’s Potential
    As Human And Truly Live A Life of Art with or without
    any Flesh and Blood Creations other than lifting folks
    up to Reach the Highest Arts of God Within and in Forms of Arts too.. expresSing
    so True Being a Tree of the Forest of AS God is such a Gift As Heaven Now Within
    And True.. Having a Respect for the Rest of the Forest in Namaste way too.. more..
    we all
    a Home
    for all the
    Supermen and
    or Superwomen who
    come to be in the Future
    too.. as TRue God will be the
    most excited to experience all
    the Colors of Heaven these folks will
    bring as God Existence too.. but again
    impossible to do without a Home Base of Nature Free too..
    but true my FriEnd this attitude fully would be almost impossible
    to own without the ReaLiTy that i no longer am Slave to Acceptance
    in Group Think and Do that Modern Society Requires to make a Living
    still in Work and Pay.. True.. it’s easier to Do Namaste when Free my FriEnd
    for as mentioned
    before i’ve
    the other
    Prison so
    far away from
    the Essence of
    Namaste Within now..
    So in Conclusion Namaste
    With Helloove again and see ya later Angel FriEnd Himali..
    for that’s the other thing no longer are Supermen and or Super
    Women totally ignored these days for one will find others like
    them if they Circle the Globe enough times to find Love iN Namaste
    reTurn NoW too..
    Just increases
    the Length
    the Capes to Fly..
    hehe and Word
    Count and Dance Steps too..
    True This is a Rather ‘Exclusive Club’..;)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Helloooooove Fred,
      You’ve made me a human angel already πŸ˜‡ And I must say you are the dancing angel bringing smiles with your dance and words. Thanks for your continued love and support. Big big unicorn hugs to my friends (Fred + Kat + Yellow boy) in Florida πŸ’–πŸ’ŸπŸ’—

      Liked by 1 person

      • SMiLes Himali You know/feel/sense it isn’t
        JusT A Miracle that Angels
        Like you ReAlly Exist
        Or MaGiC
        With at
        Least one
        Horn now
        like me who
        Do Float NoW oN
        Clouds of Terrestrial
        Earth in 9600 Miles of
        Public Dance as i met
        that Milestone Last night
        in SuperWalmart before
        5 years comes to finish
        10K Miles along with the
        6 Million Words of Long Form Poetry..
        iT Truly is a Miracle and MaGiC that
        WiLL Imprint a T-shirt now
        With Tales of Magic Unicorns
        to Accompany a Public Dance NoW
        And Even Write Bibles that are both
        Fiction and ReaLiTy of Both Stories
        of Magic Unicorns and Angels
        And the Real Flesh and
        Blood as WitH
        Thing is Possible
        For the Greatest Gift
        my FriEnd is imperfection
        And the FAct That We Are Not Just Paint by Numbers
        Robots And actuAlly Do LiVE NoW thE GreaTesT
        NoW WitH ImaGiNaTion And CreaTiVity MoVinG
        And Connecting And Co-creating WitH each oTHeR..
        thE Fruition
        of Life’s Dreams Real
        For Within mY FriEnd iS alWays now
        tHe ReaLisT World oF All We aRe STiLL..
        Namaste for all that is..:)

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Once we reached that point of clarity that we have to take action and step up for ourselves instead of waiting until others are nice enough to have mercy, we almost cannot believe that it took us so long to understand. It is crazy what we let others do to us and for far too long we think there is something wrong with us rather than with them. I am glad you broke out of this misunderstanding and rose like the phoenix from the ashes. πŸ’–

    Liked by 2 people

    • “…rose like the phoenix from the ashes” — I had once made a poster for myself which read “Like a phoenix, I will rise from my ashes and soar”.

      Now I honestly must admit, you writing the exact same words, gave me goosebumps. What a serendipitous coincidence / telepathy.

      Lots of love and hugs, Angel Erika ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      • And that gives me goosebumps too. So, it looks like you climbed a big mountain of which you might have thought for a long time you won’t make it. And all of a sudden, you find yourself on top! I wish I could give you a big hug now but I hope you are feeling it through my words anyway, dear friend πŸ’–


  5. Good post! I had a friend once who I was really close with and who even made me godmother to her son but then she changed and everything had to be on her terms and we’d organise to meet up but if didn’t evolve me going to her house she’d cancel, sad ending is that I gave up in the end and we haven’t seen each other for a few years now.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Incredibly inspired β€” I am so sick of hearing the narrative that you must stick with someone no matter what. Hard stop. If someone continually disrespects you and takes from you and your soul, you have the prerogative to let them go and be happy. Life is too short to let other people dull our shine.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Reneta, I so agree with what you’ve got to say – Life is too short to let other people dull our shine. It’s more about finding the courage to walk away from people who are toxic and loving yourself enough to end it rather sooner. Much love, Himali

      Liked by 1 person

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