TRUST Enough to Let Go of FEAR

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As much as I would hate to accept, I had/have been fearful. A lot of my thoughts and actions were governed by the fear of failure, the fear of rejection or the fear of letting down people who believe in me.

For instance, when I wrote the first 2 papers of my CPA, I went to see one of my most favorite friend and muse, a week before the result was to be declared and explained that I wanted to catch up before the results were out as I was worried “what face would I show you, if I fail”. These were the exact words I told and my friend was smiling before assuring me that I will do very well in my papers; which I eventually did.

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The fear I hold is something which is embedded deep within me so to fix it temporarily wouldn’t help me much. Over the past few months, I have been into my meditation practice and also been trying to understand the WHY behind the fears I hold.

After a lot of introspection and interactions with some very inspiring minds, I have finally found the ‘mantra’ to be fear-free:

  • JOY – Be happy and satisfied with what you currently have and where you are
  • GRATITUDE – Be grateful for all you have in your life at the present moment
  • TRUST – whatever be the outcome, it is meant for the highest good of all
  • SURRENDER – It happens for a reason and sometimes, you will be able to connect the dots much later in life and then things will make perfect sense
  • DETACH – Detach from the outcome of your desire. Be indifferent to whether it works out or not. Your role is only to be clear on WHAT you want and WHY you want it. Let the Universe take care of the HOW.

Love,
Himali

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30 thoughts on “TRUST Enough to Let Go of FEAR

  1. BE YOU – Don’t be driven by the expectations of others. YOU are the only person you can truly be, and to behave contrary to that is simply being untrue to who you really are.

    The Mirror Test!

    Stand in front of a mirror and look directly into the eyes of the face in front of you. Can you say “I really love you, and am very happy to have you as my closest friend.” ………. and be convincing?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think that learning by fear will lead to those lessons being lost. I know that things that I’ve been fearful of, I’ve disassociate with. Things that I love, or learned to love, are the lessons that I remember most.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fear is nothing more than a perspective. People fear flying. Why? It might crash? Education/information will confirm that any plane can crash, but stats are in favor of an uneventful flight.

      Fear of an examination? Fear of failure? Any such fear can be reduced (albeit not eliminated) by identifying the actual fear and its impact. Will the impact be life threatening? Will it be life changing? Will there be an opportunity to salvage the situation (taking it again later)? A plan should be developed to minimize the risk of failure. Where are the perceived weaknesses, and allocate time to address them in advance. Have a constructive study program prior to the exam. In multiple question papers, answer the easy ones first so that you are more relaxed for the more challenging ones. Strategize the whole process. You can never do more than your best, so ensure that your best is available to you.

      The first “bridge” to cross is the actual examination. The “bridge” to be crossed later is what to do with the extremely high marks achieved, or the failed grade. Don’t get those two bridges confused, and only address them when necessary. Regardless of the outcome, your true friends will be with you. Those who are not … were never friends to start with.

      Keep us posted! Big hug, and prayers, to help you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • This just teared me up 😭😭. You are right, I guess i’ scared i havent planned enough and Especially I’m scared of people’s reaction if I don’t pass.
        You’ve given me a goal this month. To consciously think positive. I am planning to join a weekend study group and I will put it at the back of my mind that I CAN DO IT.
        Thank you so much. I needed this

        Liked by 2 people

        • You’re very welcome Ameena. Remember that you are not here to please others or to fulfill their expectations etc. You just do the very best that you can, and if others are disappointed with you for whatever reason, then exclude them from your life. Remember ……. it is YOUR life and not theirs that is impacted. Two points of interest for you:

          1. I had my heart set on a specific career when in my early/mid teens. That option was blocked by my parents. My second career choice received full support and I finished the pre-requisite academics with a 2nd Class Honors mark (over 80%). That career choice disintegrated as a result of a failed medical. I was in a turmoil for about 6 months until I made some basic decisions…. Where do I want to live? What jobs are available to me there? Looking back …….. my life is clearly very different to what I expected, but it was a series of educational opportunities and, not only do I have no regrets over my history, but I am also extremely happy with who I am today!

          2. When my two children were in their teens (and very challenging), I learned to separate them from their life choices. i.e. I may not love what they do, but I can still love them for who they are). Your true friends and relatives will love you regardless of your examination results.

          3. As I told my children, my employees, and said many times here in Blogville “I will expect perfection from you as soon as I can set the example. You’re safe for quite a few years yet!”

          Keep smiling Ameena. 🙂

          Like

      • Colin, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. “u can never do more than your best, so ensure that your best is available to you.” I loved this part and of course as you had said before, “Those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter; don’t mind.”

        Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Ameena, I have also been at the exact same crossroads as you six months back. I was gripped with stress, worry, doubt and a fear of failing my exams.

      How I overcame it? Well, I realized that the outcome or result was NOT in my control but my efforts and inputs were MY part to do. I stopped worrying about the result and getting a particular score, my only aim was to LEARN and be the best at the subject I studied.

      I made my own notes (handwritten) for my last day revision, noted all my doubts and tried to solve them with my senior, revised and kept on practicing the MCQs and SIMs till my eyes would shut with sleep. I worked hard and whenever I felt overwhelming with emotions, I took a NAP :p

      Really, having a nap amidst a busy day is also so so calming to the mind. Max 20 min nap helps refresh and reboot your system to study better 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. SMiLes my FriEnd Himali for folks who suffer from Post
    Traumatic Stress Disorder which is one fo the most Disabling
    Fear Complexes in Mind and Body out of Emotional Regulation
    and Sensory Integration as it also actually is a Bio-Neuro-Chemical
    issue and Neuro-Hormonal one for a Body that has Lost Feedback
    from the Pilot
    of Navigation
    that keeps
    in touch
    with
    all
    of what our
    Bodies have to say
    to us without any words
    at all but anyway a Newest
    Therapy for this Condition is Actually
    Adventure Therapy where Folks attempt
    to overcome their Greatest Fears in Life and
    my FriEnd i must admit one of mine For Decades
    was walking anywhere in Public alone for i felt out of sorts
    then with my Body and out of sorts with even Navigating
    that Body through Three Dimensional Environments that
    i for one give Credit too for Being More of a Sitting Still
    Human Doing Lectures through Reading Books through
    Attached to Screens or Just Sitting at a Desk in School/
    Work as of course i received as a self-fulfilling Reward
    Praise for all of the Sitting Still Scholastic
    and Working Solving Problems practically
    Divorcing my Body from mY Mind
    except during 3 Work-outs a
    Week for an Hour
    that was
    far
    from enough
    of Actually a Free
    Movement that wasn’t
    organized and pre-planned
    Already by the Work-out Machine
    i came to use.. in other words even
    Working out i became More Machine
    than Human Art of Being in Moving and
    Thinking Freer in Positive Ways of Thought too..
    i will have to say other than Public Speaking a Terror
    of mine for Decades Dance was even Worse than that
    and being comfortable enough with my own Body to do
    A Nude Art too as all of that was Extremest Adventure Therapy
    for me and Oh Lord it worked and i can now Public Speak as i even
    did that at My Father’s Funeral without any practice at all and Sing in
    Public Solo too along with all the Solo Art Dance now.. of course Mileage
    Varies according to Model and Make of the Human Being concerned as far
    as individual Potential Adventure Therapies too.. but to move out of the Box
    of Fears
    in this
    way
    can and
    will surely
    Bring soon an
    Ultimate Greater
    Reward of Fearless
    with Zero Anxiety in
    the Eternal Now wHere
    Love Emerges easier in
    of course somewhere between
    an Alpha to Theta Mind Wave State of Being
    too while one is engaging in the most Terrifying
    Activity of Life they might have imagined then as
    me for Decades Stretches of Life Before.. smiles
    all we can and will really do is give and share what
    works for us.. some thoughts and behaviors may or
    may not Spark potential Greater Lights oF Love Away From Fear
    in others or not but hey it doesn’t hurt to Give and Share with others
    whatever
    works
    for us
    as Real..
    And it’s True
    Some Folks Dance
    And Some Folks Don’t
    And even when i was in
    High School i used to Practice
    in Front of a Mirror like the Napoleon
    Dynamite Movie where at least i got Brave
    enough.. hehe.. to Dance when a Girl
    finally asked me first..
    so smiles again
    and
    Helllooove Himali..:)

    Liked by 1 person

      • “Hellooooove Fred, you are the true epitome of love,
        creativity and positivity. A genius and a gem of a person.
        Beautiful inside out”

        Wow how uplifting Himali So Sweet of You to Shower a Compliment
        of Love on me this way.. yes.. this one is a Keeper in My
        Bible Scrap Book of the Story of My Life so Far
        in Dance and Song and Dark for all
        of what does inspire
        me to continue
        Dancing
        and
        Singing in Life for it’s True yes too..
        i’ve also received a Couple of other
        Compliments within a week.. one being
        that my Dance in Super Walmart was/is the
        Most Joyful New thing a Woman Experienced
        in a year and Sohair Said the Best Lesson she’s
        Learned from me is Unconditional Love for it’s True
        That’s a Best Philosophy oF aLL in Fearless way to Spread
        Entirely around the World too.. but True too my Friend for
        People React to my Freest Ways of Exploring New Words
        And Steps of Life Very Differently for in the Same Span of
        One Week i’ve been called/named idiotic and stupid and non-sensical
        too for the way i Write and Dance of course behind the Walls of ‘Internet
        Safety’ as this Dance thingy now for Close to 10K Miles in 5 Years too has
        Made me practically and measurably and increasingly as Big and Strong
        as a Gorilla too.. hAha..
        True very rarely
        does anyone
        attempt
        to abuse
        mY Space in
        Flesh and Blood now
        at least.. hehe.. and yes
        Extremely intelligent People this
        Week have told me they can’t understand
        any of the meaning i bring in metaphors now..
        And even gone so far as Deleting my comments too
        from their View when i am only trying to expand their views..
        but that’s the way Life is it Comes with dARk and LiGHT and it is
        Very Important to Create what i Call “A Garden off Band-Aid” in LiFE
        Full of the Affirmations that/who Love and Uplift us more than the nay-sayers
        of Life now more Towards Dark and More Closed in as Mind and Body Folks
        who care not
        to Entertain
        or Venture
        into
        New Dances
        And Songs of Life
        Never Experienced Before..
        SMiLes.. mY FriEnd.. i am here to
        Stretch Minds and Bodies More Than
        clothing
        them
        tightly
        iN Clothes that/who Refuse to GRoW
        MoRE SoUL NoW OCeaN WHoLE LoVE..:)

        Like

        • Fred! You have speak my mind.

          ““A Garden off Band-Aid” in LiFE
          Full of the Affirmations that/who Love and Uplift us more than the nay-sayers”

          I have actually written affirmations in my diary I try to read with visualization. They go like a story. It is so so much helpful 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          • Helloooove Himali as ‘they’ say in the Christian Religion “Count Your Blessings”
            And Goodness knows and feels and senses this does mean Visualizing them too
            in Words and Images too and how great it is that through Technology we can
            actually in real time now Capture those Blessings of all of Nature
            and the Culture We Humans Hold Hands to make and
            Take Photos and Blog Words and do all types of other
            Arts and Sciences of Blessings
            And not only will we
            Count those Blessings
            for all ourselves through
            these expanded Technological
            Avenues to do that for even better
            yet we can and will give and share
            those Blessings now with the rest of the
            World by both Literally and Metaphorically
            even uploading so much of our Soul in Arts
            and Sciences to Give and Share yes Freely
            With the Rest of the Globe too as more Human
            Beings understand all our similarities and differences
            too for Love is Great and Fearless when Real but even better
            With Greater
            understandings
            so everyone may
            Achieve their own
            Styles of Human
            Potential and
            every
            one
            will be freer
            for A Right to LiFE
            And liberty and the
            Pursuit of Individual and Group Happiness too..
            This is a Wonderful World We Live in now for those
            Who JusT Take Advantage of all the Newer Tools to Give
            And Share Love Mastering those Tools for Love rather
            Than becoming Lost as the Tools become more of us
            Than the Organic Nature and Nurtured Love that is all of us
            At Best one Blood that Bleeds Love Same in many Different Beyond Rainbow Colors too..:)

            Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks so much Himali for writing about it. I always led a life in fear and unafraid, still face the same to a certain extent. We tend to over think in our attempt to please the world. I am also practicing meditation to lower down anxiety, another form of fear. I will try to implement the suggestions.

    Like

  5. Ah! I love this! I face so much fear in life. My daughter almost died right after she was born from a freak incident. I’ve quickly realized life is too short and way to fragile. Thankfully she survived. And I have my faith in Jesus to lean on. But I struggle so much. I really liked your post. It rings a bell with me. Thanks for sharing. I do have my daughter story a few posts down if you would like to read it.
    BloomsandBeautifuls.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

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