There have been so many times in life when I’ve come across people who hold grudges against me, complaint, nag or make me feel guilty about something I was ‘ought-to-do’ and didn’t do. In those moments, I do feel very guilty and somehow I feel what is up with all this complaining? This is who I am and this is how I am – an IMperfect, flawed and prone-to-mistakes mortal human being with finite time, energy and patience.
When I feel I can’t live up to someone’s expectations about me, it crushes my soul. But then, I get indifferent. It feels like – nothing I do for them will ever make them happy! Why can’t they just understand that I really got busy? Yes, I am guilty of this crime – do you want handcuffs to punish me or are your harsh words enough? This whole complaining business is just so detrimental to the beautiful bond we created, cared for and tendered with love and affection. Like bugs, these complaints start eating away the fruits that were once supposed to be harvested from the trees we jointly planted and watered every day.
Now, let’s take this a step ahead. What happens when we complain about our life to God, when we complain to someone for something they failed to do for us? Wouldn’t they feel similar things for us, about us? Wouldn’t they feel that we are being unappreciative, demanding, a-complaint-box, non-thankful and ungrateful? And slowly, this would not just eat away the garden of our love, but they would become cold and indifferent to what we got to say. They would go like – ‘You know what! Whatever I do, I can never make this person happy. So why even bother trying?’.
Instead of starting this negative cycle what can we do differently? Or how can we break free from this vicious circle of expectations?
The answer is super simple – be thankful for what you currently have! Instead of loading your relationships with the burden of expectations, learn to appreciate and be thankful for all that you have.
Just imagine how nice it would feel if someone notices all the little things you do for them. If someone is grateful to you. If they forgive you for the times you slip up, without even making you feel guilty or saying a sorry to them. If you can pick up, from where you left last, without a complaint. Wouldn’t you feel so much more respect and love for such a person? Would you not want to genuinely do things for them, from your heart – just to see them smile? Would you not like being loved and appreciated for who you are?
Over time, I have come to learn that expectations are natural. But we can’t change or control people. We can only love them and love, is a choice. You can choose to love them for a because or for a despite. The decision is yours to make…
Just remember, the ones who give, receive back 10x. The ones who forgive, without even letting the person know they had been offended, are always at peace and will also receive forgiveness for their deeds.
And as my friend, Fred says:
“Once you Give
You Receive Back Multiples of 7 More.
Love IS A Light House
iN Those We CaLL Our Home
And That LiGHT House Continues aS ouR Soul
Long after the Candle Has Gone DArk
And the Flicker LiveS on..”
We attract what we are thankful for and what we appreciate.